


My love seems hopeless

by Kilz



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Beginning Steve/Bucky, Coming Out, Cousin peggy, Drama, High School AU, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Steve, M/M, Maria is a good single mother, Mizo writer, Multiple chapters, Protective Steve, Protective Tony, Romance, Slow Build, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers & Tony friendship, Steve is gay, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Is a Good Bro, eventual Steve/Tony, pre-winter soldier Bucky personality, update 1 chapter every week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:59:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilz/pseuds/Kilz
Summary: Tony had a feeling that his classmate Steve Rogers is gay. Then, he found out by accident that he really is. Eventually, he also realizes Steve’s gaze is towards a love he can’t hope to have. But after getting to know that he is a ‘pretty nice guy’, he starts to root for him instead.Or the one where Tony helps Steve to sort out his feelings.(If you're looking for 'i like you lets have sex' stories then this one isn't for you. It's gonna be slow and steady, abit boring too cause I'm going for a realistic feel to it or something hehe)





	My love seems hopeless

**Author's Note:**

> This Tony didn’t grow up with a father since he could remember so even his personality is a bit different here.
> 
> Based on ‘Koi Monogatari’. I didn’t beta it. Read at own risk.
> 
> (English is not my native tongue so I'm not very good at it nor is my vocabulary rich enough to write well but i hope you enjoy it even just a little bit)
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcomed （＾ω＾）

Tony sat on his table surrounded by his friends Bucky, Clint and Natasha in the back corner of their classroom. They were all listening to Bucky’s latest tale of how he had recently hit the jackpot with a hot senior from their neighboring high school. Tony and Natasha looked at him with rather bored expressions, mentally assessing whether to believe the guy or not. He tends to add lots of things which didn’t actually happen while Clint believed everything he said with a look of amazement.

Tony glanced over to the group of friends who were just a few feet away from them. Intently focusing on one particular blond individual as he watched them chat among themselves and laughing. He hadn’t really thought seriously at first but then once he noticed it, it was pretty hard to ignore it. About his classmate Steve Rogers probably being gay.

Well. He thinks. Everybody’s different. Besides it’s got nothing to do with him. He glanced towards Steve and his gang again, maintaining his gaze until Bucky snapped him out by showing him a porn magazine. “Look, this girl kinda looks like the babe I was talking about. What do think about her, Tony?” Bucky said with a grin, waiting excitedly for an answer.

It was probably this guy right here that he’s after.His supposed best friend, James Bucky Barnes.

“He’s started again”. Tony said unimpressed.

“Comparing his imaginary girlfriends with that of the ones from magazines?” Natasha had on a playful smirk as she said it earning a glare from him.

“It’s the truth, Tasha. Don’t be jealous just cause her boobs are bigger than yours.” He retorted. The brunet looked on as Natasha beat up Bucky, smiling to himself. Clint laughing loudly in the background.

Bucky likes regular girls to the point that it was refreshing. The way he would always try to get his friends to go and pick up girls with him or how he would saw a beauty on his way to school and end up day dreaming about her being his girlfriend. How he have no eyes for anything except pretty babes. He was the only one Tony thought was more flirty and women loving than him. To conclude, the guy was as straight as an arrow.

Occasionally. For just one instant, when Steve looks at Bucky he would see that in Steve Rogers, an unrequited love. Or so he probably thinks.

His train of thought was interrupted by Scott Lang, one of his classmates calling for him. “Tony, you’re being summoned by Potts.” He gestured to a blonde girl just outside his classroom giving him a wave and a smile.

Tony returned the smile as he left his friends to go talk to his girlfriend, Virginia Potts, popularly known around the school as Pepper.

“Tony’s ditching us again.” Clint said watching him go.

“I can’t spend my whole time with you singles. Someone who actually has a girlfriend needs to spend some quality times with them. See you later guys.” With that he walked out the room and greeted his girlfriend. They made their way to the school campus hand in hand.

While he said it’s whatever for him Tony also preferred girls. To be perfectly honest, he didn’t want to be involved.

The next day Tony’s group passed by Steve’s as they were walking along the hallway. Tony couldn’t help stealing a quick glance at the guy as he stuffed his mouth with a juicy looking hamburger.

Though just by looking he doesn’t seem like a bad person. He thought. Not that he would really know. He wasn’t trying to be prejudiced. It’s just that when he was actually up close and it was his own friend that’s being watched in that way, Tony couldn’t say he liked it.

~

He didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything like that. It was pure coincidence that he heard about it.

It was the afternoon when Tony didn’t feel like attending classes and instead took a nap on one of the empty clubrooms. He was just feeling well rested after having an all-nighter watching Star Wars movies when he heard it. His classmates Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter talking just outside the place. From the way they were speaking it sounded like they didn’t want anyone else to know about what they were talking about. But it was loud enough to not be a whisper. They probably didn’t even guessed that someone would be inside the room at that time.

“I see. So you were confessed to…” She said softly. “You should’ve tried going out with her. Maybe you’d actually be fine with it.” She continued with what sounded like a smile at the end.

“Yeah” Steve replied after a while. “I’d probably be fine. It’s not like I hate it or anything.” He paused. “It’s just that girls don’t make my heart beat. That’s just how it is.”

He heard a soft sigh from Sharon and then the sound of footsteps came until it became quite again like before and Tony knew that they have left the premises. He let out a relief sigh and slumped against the wall, sliding down until he sat on the floor with his back to the wall.

“Shit.” He thought. “I heard something I wasn’t meant to. Wait, that means what I think it means, right? More like, that _was_ Rogers, right?” Are you fucking serious?

He stayed like that, with his head hung down and his hands coming up to his neck to massage it. He sat there for a while longer until he decided with a heavy heart to go back to class.

 

~

It was possible that it was entirely a misunderstanding from his part before but once he knew the truth his entire perspective changed. Things that didn’t bother him before became noticeable. Even the little things starts to seem meaningful. And there’s nothing he could do about it.

  
Tony and his gang were all called to the principal's office. The four of them along with two other students, Janet Van Dye and Thor Odinson were all present and currently standing in a line in front of their principal, Nick Fury.

“Alright, who can tell me why you were all called here?” Fury said, sounding quite pissed but the group stayed silent and avoided his furious glare. Their behavior made him even more annoyed.

“You people have to stop keeping the mongoose in the school!”

“No fair!~”. Clint whined.

“We were just carrying on the wishes of our senior to raise him as our school’s guardian spirit!” Bucky shouted and Clint cheered for him from the side.

“Guardian spirit my ass. You don’t believe in stuff like that Barnes.”

“You’re mean. Demon! Pervert!” Janet pouted with a glare.

“Aye, you bald person!” Thor added as he crossed his arm, looking quite serious.

“Don’t use bald as a retort for everything, Mr. Odinson.”

  
Tony and Natasha were the only one keeping quite till now. But on seeing the failure of his friends on trying to explain themselves, he decided to step in.

“The mongoose is our school’s mascot, right? What’s the harm with having the real thing? They allow that in other schools.” He said. Bucky and Clint send him a triumph smile at his statement.

“It’s not fine when said rodent sneaks into the girl’s locker room and scared the shit out of them. It’s one thing you’re keeping a pet at school and another is your lack of care for it.” Fury frowned at them.

Well, that was true. They can’t exactly argue with that.

Fury sigh. “For now I’ll look owners for your rodent, understood? Alright, go back to your class.” They made their way out of the office when he added “Stark, you stay behind.” Tony made a face. Everyone else hurried out the door as they laughed and dramatically waving him goodbye.

“That’s so not fair. Why do I get a second round?” He grumbled.

“Stop whining and listen. It’s almost time for MIT to start their entrance exams for next year. Are you prepared?” Fury asked eyeing him with a stern face.

“I already told you we don’t have the money for that. I can’t put more burdens on my mom than I’m already doing.”

“Just saying you have the potential to accomplish great things so I’d like you to at least try it.”

“Alright, fine. I will then. Is that all?” Tony raises an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, you can get your ass back to class now.” Fury told him with a wave of his hand and Tony sped out of the room. Fucking Fury. Always bringing up MIT in front of him. Of course he wanted to go. For someone like him who aspire to become an engineer MIT was the 'go to' place and he was perfectly qualified to go there. The only problem was that their financial situation was not very good for him to pursue his dreams there. But he decided he will definitely take the exam just to show that he was good enough to be a student there even if he doesn’t get admitted afterwards.

 

~

 

“Tony!” Sharon shouted and ran up to him as he was about to get on his skateboard, trying to get to Bucky’s place to hang out. He signaled his friends they could go ahead and they all nodded in agreement as they rode away shouting at him with a teasing tone to ‘take his time’ with Tony giving them the finger. As soon as she caught up to him she took a few minutes to catch her breath.

“So, what do you want with me, Sharon?”

“I’m sorry for being sudden. But you are really good at math so I was wondering if you could teach me. Please, I’m in a lot of trouble at this rate!” She said in a pleading voice.

“Okay…I don’t really mind I guess.” He agreed not really knowing how to turn her down. Besides she seemed desperate. And her being hot adds to the cake so why not?

“Oh, um, will it be alright if another person joins?” Tony nodded, not really caring if he had to teach one or more people. There’s no problem there. She brightens up in an instant.

“Steve! He said it’s okay!” She gave him a peace sign and signaling him to come over.

What? That was so not what he expected to happen. The other person was Steve Rogers?! This is so not cool. Maybe he should decline it?

“You haven’t really talked to Tony before, right?” She said as a way of getting them acquainted with each other.

“Hi, Tony. I’m Steve. It’s nice to meet you.” He said with a warm smile holding out his hand for a shake which Tony accepted with a small gulp of his saliva.

“Same. Alright then. Guess we’ll start from tomorrow.”

With that he got on his skateboard and rode away as calm as he could. Trying hard not to make it seem like he was running away from them and made his way to Bucky’s place. He got there after an eight minute ride from school. He made his way up to apartment no. 410 where the Barnes family was living. It was also the place their group often hangout since his parents were the least strict. He knocked on the door and was soon greeted by Bucky. “What took you so long, man? The game’s no fun without ya.” He exclaimed dragging the smaller brunet into his room no even giving time for Tony to reply. The rest of their friends were already there.

Tony was handed one of the controllers and it soon got heated and he was already starting to forget about the promised tutoring session. Well, he was about to anyway until Clint brought it up.

“So, Sharon Carter? What did the hot blonde babe wanted from you, Tones?” Clint asked with a smirk as he played on. Bucky and Natasha glanced at him from the sides waiting for his answer. Fucking Barton, way to ruin my mood. He thought glaring at the screen.

“Nothing. Stuffs.” He replied plainly.

“Did she ask you on a date?”

“If you’re cheating on Pepper I’m telling.” Natasha quickly added.

“OH! Busted!” Bucky cheered.

“What?! Guys! It wasn’t anything like that! You’d be bored if you knew what it actually was” Tony said exasperated. His friends were unbelievable. As if he’d cheat on Pepper.

Clint was trying to start again went Tony beat them in the game. Clint and Bucky whined about their concentration being interrupted and wanted a rematch as Natasha just sat back quietly looking like she had enough of it.

The next day~

Tony was absentmindedly checking out his phone when Sharon approached his table followed by Steve. “Hi”. She said starling the brunet, almost making him drop his phone in the process. She winced at her action as did Steve.

“Uh, yeah. Hi, Sharon” He says after pocketing his phone safely, looking up at her from his seat with a rather nervous smile.

“Hey, Tony. About the thing we talked about. What do you think about meeting up after school at the Avengers Café on the main road? They allow students to study there.” She said with a smile.

“Oh, right. The group study thing. Sure, no probs” He agreed quickly trying to get them to leave. He didn’t want his friends to get involve especially Bucky. It was in vain though. Bucky had turned around that exact moment asking, “What’s happening? Let me in on it too.” Poking at Tony’s cheek as he did.

Worst timing ever. Barnes, you stupid idiot!

Tony could see that Steve was now getting flustered, fidgeting where he stood. The others won’t notice such things but to Tony who had the extra information on Steve knew exactly why.

“We’re having a study group with Tony teaching us math.” Sharon said with a sweet smile.

“A group study? Count me in. My specialty is physical education.” Bucky said wrapping his arms around Tony’s neck from behind, grinning.

“Completely useless.” Tony said, sighing. Sharon and Steve laughed at the two.

“How about you guys? Gonna join us?” Bucky said eyeing Natasha and Clint who shook their heads. “I’m good. But you take Clint with you”, Natasha replied with a playful smirk. Clint glared at her. “I got my part-time job at the shooting range. Count me out.”

“I guess it’s just four of us then.” Bucky concluded as they parted back to their own seats when they finished making the time and place and the next teacher came in.

 

  
For the rest of the class hours Tony couldn’t concentrate on anything. His mind was filled with the upcoming group study. He seriously didn’t want to get involved with Rogers but now it seems like he got dragged into it.

The four of them met up at said café after class. Sharon suggested that they order something before they got to do any studying. Bucky had agreed quickly and said he was so hungry that he couldn’t study without getting some food in him. The blond pair laughed as Tony hit his best friend on the head for his exaggeration.

Even after they had eaten they didn’t start studying right away. Bucky started talking about things that completely do not have anything to do with studies. Like which elementary school their new friends were from or how he was famous in his elementary days for his awesome soccer skills. Tony noticed that Steve seemed really happy the whole time, always putting on a shy smile and being super polite. Getting along well with Bucky. Well, anyone would be thrilled to have a group study with their crush. Who doesn't?

They eventually went home without getting any studies done. It’s like they got together just to hangout.

“Man, that was fun!” Bucky exclaimed as they rode the bus back home, carrying their skateboard as they stood grabbing on the straps of the bus. Tony laughed.

“That’s not the impression people get for a study group. Besides we barely studied anything.”

“Don’t fret~ We’ll start tomorrow.”

“Believe me, I’m not. I have perfectly good grades unlike you guys.” He stated. 

“You punk.” Bucky said playfully. “But Steve was a pretty nice guy. Real friendly.”

“Yeah.” Good for you, Rogers. Tony thought with a small smile as he glanced at his friend.

“And Sharon was a total babe. I’m weak for big breasted blondes.” Bucky continued biting his lips, seemingly quite hopeful. Even so, this is reality, Steve Rogers.

Tony washed up and ate the dinner his mom brought home together. After which Tony went to the garage (which he had turned into his own inventing space) to work on some of his home made contraptions but he couldn’t help wondering this ‘How do gay people actually love?’

He got out from the garage and saw his mother watching her favorite show on the TV. He walked up to her and asked, “Hey, mom. Let me borrow your laptop.”

“Okay. Just don’t look at any porn sites alright?”

“I won’t, probably.” He replied earning a frown. “What?”, he teasingly asked.

“What do you mean probably? If you want to watch porn use your phone not my work laptop.”

“Alright, mom. It’s in your room right?”

He walked up to the second floor and into his mom’s room and took the laptop on her bed to his bedroom, shutting the door. He started searching on the net about gay relationships and other related stuffs.

After looking around and clicking on different sites he found that there was also some forceful stuff too. The internet was overflowing with stories and discussions. From nasty ones to charming ones, true and false stories were all jumbled up together. But the one thing he noticed was that even those having a hard time seem happy just having someone who understands.

Someone who understands….

“Ah, I give up. I don’t really get these stuffs”, he said to himself as he lay back down on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

Steve had Sharon with him, right? He has someone who understands him. After coming into contact with Steve he didn’t turn out to be as bad as he thought he’d be. But no matter what kind of guy he was if he ever forces himself on Bucky, Tony resolves to beat the crap out of him. That’s where he thinks he stands in all this.


End file.
